I love my mom. I look like my mom, I sound like my mom and I even get fat in the same places as my mom. I am the best mom I can be and the best grandma I can be but that doesn’t mean I show up the way my children, grandchildren and even my mom would like me to show up and that is okay because they love me anyway.
But, what if you have a mom that doesn’t even show up? A mom that does drugs or gave you up for adoption or constantly criticizes you. Can you love her anyway? As moms we are all naturally teachers and someone may say, “she didn’t teach me anything she gave me up for adoption.” That very statement is an indication of something learned. Sometimes it’s very clear what our parents teach us and sometimes it’s harder to see. Everything we have learned, understood or had to unlearn came from something.
I had a friend, I didn’t know much about his personal life but he had shared with me, he and his sister were adopted. He genuinely loved his adopted mother and biological mother. I thought that was great and asked him what made him love these two women so much. He said his adopted mother always loved him like he was her own and did all she could to make his life happy and he loved his biological mom because she gave him the opportunity to have a wonderful life. I asked him about his sister and he said she seen it in a whole other way.
Being a mom has been wonderful and challenging and if someone had said to me how difficult it was going to be I might have taken another road. But, no one did and I appreciate the whole journey. Not always enjoying the journey though.
My son would meet a friend and he’d come home and tell me how great his friends parents were, then he had girlfriends and he’d come home and tell me how wonderful his girlfriends parents were. I’d feel inadequate and think what a terrible mom I am. My son is always going to these people’s homes and seeing how wonderful they were and then come home and thinking how I was not. I told my friend how my son likes his girlfriends parents or friends better than me. She asked me if he had said that, I told her no and explained the situation. She smiled and said, “isn’t it wonderful your son recognizes good people.” I said, “I wonder where he learned that?” My friend said, “give yourself a break he learned it from you. You are a good person. He recognizes it.”
Love mom as she is, not how you expect her to be. She is the vessel that brought you and if your here, she did her part. My thought on the matter.
One Beautiful Power, Lovely and Present
Each of us are an expression of the Divine, Each of us a child of God and I recognize that every being is here by Divine design.
I am grateful for my mom and yours.