Loving What Doesn’t Fit in Our Box

I believe we are all One. I believe that each of us are of the Divine, Spirit, God, and Love call It what you want. I believe each of us are here as an expression of God and here to express ourselves as our true selves not as the world thinks we should. I believe I am here to respect all beings and to understand and know every life force is part of what I am.

A few years back my child came out as transgender Female to Male. My child was thirty-four years old. He had spent his whole life trying to fit in and figure out who he was. I love my child unconditionally like any other mom. Jay had many behaviors and many signs but I did not get it. To be honest I believe Jay didn’t either. I’m not sure what his thoughts were but I try to imagine to myself what it might feel like if people told me I was a man and I know I am a woman. Generally women wearing men’s clothes is not a big deal but if I am dressing up for an occasion I most certainly do not want to be dressed in a tux. In saying that I don’t believe clothes have gender. I believe society says, “hey this is what boys wear and this is what girls wear.” And of course being part of society I choose to wear what I perceive as feminine clothing.  Jay has two younger brothers and boys get to do many things girls are not allowed to do. One such things is go shirtless. While living in Germany this was not a problem. I let Jay go without a shirt all the time but here in the states a seven year old girl without a shirt can almost be construed as sexual abuse. At seven Jay struggled and I gave in and told her she didn’t have to wear her shirt to do the dishes but she couldn’t go outside that way. It was difficult for Jay to see her brothers out side climbing trees and playing on the swings without a shirt on a hot day. Jay thought it was extremely unfair and felt unloved I’m sure.

As time went on Jay became very self-conscious of his body. He had breast and he hated them. He didn’t feel comfortable in his own body. Some might say they’re not comfortable in their body but that doesn’t mean they’re trans but for Jay there was something deep down nagging in her and I believe she had an idea but she couldn’t name it or share it with anyone. She was unable to say, “Mom, I’m a boy.” You see I had already determined based on her genitalia, she was a girl and that is how most of society decide what someone’s gender is.

Jay went into the military as a woman and tried to fit in, got married had children and tried to fit in society’s safe box but he was never happy and things became very difficult for him. Jay has his own story to tell but I wanted to share these things to let people know I am aware of how it feels to love and accept someone that doesn’t fit in society’s idea of what life should look like.

What if we could look at someone have a conversation and accept and love them just as they express without expecting them to show-up as society says they should? What if we see a person with a full beard, lipstick, a skirt and high heels and just say, “Hello my friend it’s nice see you.”? What if we can love people that don’t exactly fit in the box society has set for us?

If I am One with all things and beings, to not love One that does not fit in my box is to not love myself.

One God, One Life, One Love
In Spirit all is possible.
I know God moves through and around all beings
I know love is love and each human is here to express openly and freely.
I am grateful!
And So It Is!
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